


As The Shadows Watched

by PyremLuvian



Category: Monster Fucker - Fandom, Original Work, exophilia - Fandom
Genre: Anal Sex, Cuddles, Cute, Dom/sub, Eventual Fluff, Exhibitionism, Exophilia, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Human/Monster Romance, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, MLM Writer, MONSTER FUCKER, Mental Health Issues, Mugging, Polyamorous Character, Polyamorous relationship, Polyamory, Sex Toys, Shadow Monster, Slow Burn, Tentacle Sex, Tentacles, Terato, Teratophilia, Threesome - M/M/M, Voyeurism, mlm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2020-10-11 12:33:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20546225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PyremLuvian/pseuds/PyremLuvian
Summary: Monster/Human story I wrote on tumblr that I'm putting here since the purge didn't like it.Othos is a gay guy living in Iowa, he’s best friends with his ex, and likes to use toys on himself for the people watching his livestreams. His family thinks he’s insane, and after he got mugged one night, he’s inclined to believe them. He knows what he saw though, and he knows that it's crazy, but he needs to find out what it is that saved him and followed him home.





	1. Chapter 1

“I...I don’t know what happened exactly. If I’m honest I kind of blacked out once it started happening. I was trying to walk home from campus and, unfortunately, that meant walking by the booming night life of Cedar Rapids, Iowa,” I said sarcastically, “which I’ve passed by at least 100 times by now, it shouldn’t have been any different.”

“Just start from the beginning and try and trace your steps from there.” Officer Buran said. He’d been here for a couple hours apparently, waiting for me to wake up so he could ask me about what happened before I forgot or something.

“Well, I was walking past some bars and someone yelled “Hey! You dropped something!”, and when I turned they basically body checked me into the nearest alley. Which, I don’t know if you’ve ever been checked before, but it hurt like hell and I ended up cracking my head on the ground.” Okay, I admit that I’m a bit agitated at this point. I haven’t even gotten to see my family or talk to a doctor yet, and I have a splitting headache _ and _ I don’t even know how long I’ve been unconscious. 

“Everything is kind of blurred after that, but the last thing I remember clearly was seeing the shadows of the alley shift and stretch towards my assailant and eventually congeal into… something? It seemed to be trying to separate me from the mugger.” His eyebrow was raised and he had stopped writing in his little notepad thing, he obviously thought I was crazy. Trust me though, I know how impossible it sounds, but I know what I saw and I didn’t have the patience to defend myself right now so I just ignored him and continued.

“After that all I know is that I heard a scream or a roar or something that sounded like a car crashing into a construction site and then I blacked out, okay?” I put my hand to my temple to try and get the pain to subside, to no avail but at least it kept me from glaring or yelling at the officer.

“Okay… well, feel free to call me if you think of anything else.” He said as he stood from his chair and handed me a business card with his number on it. Under any other situation I would probably have been flirting with him the entire time, Alex Buran was known as one of the only openly gay police officers in the county after all, but today was not the day for that kind of thing.

“Will do.” I took the card from him with my free hand and put it on the bedside table next to the hospital bed I was currently confined to. “Can you get a doctor or nurse in here on your way out please? I have a headache and would like to know why.”

“Sure, take care.” I nodded as he turned to leave.

* * *

I was still grappling with my thoughts and memories when a nurse walked in twenty minutes later to check up on me. He checked my vitals and asked if I was in pain, I told him about my headache and he gave me some pain meds and said he was going to schedule me for some tests to see if my concussion had gotten any worse. He checked if I needed anything else one last time before leaving and ushering my father and sister in to see me finally. 

“How long have I been out?” I asked as soon as the door closes behind them.

“About a day.” Aubrey, my older sister, answered. She seems worried, but that’s kind of her constant state at this point so I tried to not let it get to me, “The cop said you were jumped, but nothing’s missing. Are you sure that’s what happened?”

“Yeah, I was walking home and got pushed into an alley. I didn’t see his face, but he got a good hit in before...” I trailed off, I don’t know why but I don’t want to tell them what I saw. They’d think I was starting to hallucinate or something and that would just stress them both out more.

“Before what?” My father spoke up after a moment, his brow creased. 

“Before I got saved by something. I don’t know what ‘cause I blacked out before I could get a good look at it, but…it wasn’t human.”

“Did...did the doctor say you had a concussion or something?” Aubrey glanced from me to our dad, growing increasingly worried.

“They scheduled some tests to be sure, but they said I probably don’t.” I paused, trying to choose my next words carefully. Considering the rocky nature of my relationship with these two I’m surprised I haven’t been chastised for being so reckless yet, they must be in shock or something. That being said, I’m tired of it and my headache has finally subsided so I think it’s time for me to go home. “Can one of you sign me out? I’m gonna go talk to the nurse from earlier to schedule the tests, but I wanna get home before traffic gets too bad.” I said as I climbed out of the hospital bed which, if I might say, was way too high for any normal person.

“Wha- No! You’re still injured, you need to stay here!” Aubrey was already trying to push me back into the bed but, as I said, it was way too high for that so she ended up just pushing my lower back into the plastic bed frame.

“I’m fine, okay? I’ll take it easy till the tests are ready, but I have an assignment due tomorrow that I haven’t even started yet.” I pushed past her and went to get my bag from wherever they were keeping it, “I need to get home, I’ll talk to y’all later.”

“Othos! Get back in here this instant! You are not fit to drive!” My father’s voice echoed after me as I walked, but I was never one to listen to his warnings so I just kept going till I reached the nurses’ station.

* * *

“Hey! Michael you here?” I called into the dark apartment as I walked in and locked the door behind me. Michael is my ex-boyfriend turned best friend who occasionally sleeps on the couch in my apartment when he can’t be bothered to go all the way to his place. When I received no answer I sighed in relief and quickly decided that lights weren’t important if all I was going to do was shower and go to bed, I didn’t actually have an assignment due tomorrow I just used it as a more feasible excuse then: “I want to go home and try and bleach the memory of a scream from my brain.”

I started to walk towards my room to grab my towel and head to the bathroom, the weight of exhaustion making me drag my feet, when I got the distinct feeling that I was being watched. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I swear I could feel the eyes burning into the back of my head. I turned around too quickly and had to catch myself on the wall before looking around furiously for whoever was in my apartment. My hand searched for the light switch as I tried to see through the darkness of the hallway, I swear I can feel who or whatever coming closer. My hand finds the switch and I swear it’s right in front of me, I can feel a ghost of breath as the lights flicker on, and….nothing.

There’s nothing here. Just me. Me and my blood system that’s now full of adrenaline. I huff as I turn and start walking back towards my room, ignoring the fact that I still feel like I’m being watched. I throw open the door and switch on the lights, looking on to the mess that is my bedroom. I know I should clean up in here more often, god knows how much shit I get for it from Michael when he’s here, but I just never have the energy. When I get home I usually just wanna change into pj’s or boxers and go to bed so my floor ends up covered in discarded clothes. Today’s no different; I don’t even wait to find my towel before I throw my shirt off. Apparently Michael had been in here at some point because my towel was laying folded neatly on my bed, when I picked it up I immediately got a whiff of some kind of lavender detergent which means Michael must’ve washed it as well for some reason. I rolled my eyes and smiled, before walking into the bathroom to finally shower.

The second I walked in and finished getting undressed I realized that I didn’t feel like I was being watched anymore, which in turn made me realize how much tension I was holding. I relaxed my shoulders and took a couple deep breaths to try and calm myself down. I turned on the shower and walked over to the sink to let the water heat up a bit before I got in. When I looked into the mirror above the sink I saw the bruises and cuts that dotted my face like odd constellations and blueish yellow nebulae. Even though my hair was super dark brown I could still see that I had dirt and gravel in it from when I fell. I rarely looked anyone in the eye, either I felt awkward or they looked away because my stare is too intense, but I decided to look myself in the eye for once and saw my dark eyes staring back just as cold and bright as always. People have always told me that I look like I’m analyzing them when I look them in the eye, and becoming a psych major didn’t exactly help the fact because now I usually am reading their body language and trying to figure out why they’re acting a certain way.

I hated the way my eyes looked. They were too brown and not brown enough, too big, too squinty, just too much in general. So I looked away and got in the shower, thinking over the events of the day and trying to ignore what happened in the hallway. I washed quickly and dried myself off, debating whether or not to put on my pajamas and eventually deciding that it was too much work so I flopped onto my bed after turning off the lights. Normally I would be on my phone or jerking off, but I’m so tired. So unbelievably tired. The darkness around me feels like a blanket, and the sounds of the city outside are like a lullaby. I succumbed to sleep in less than a minute and dream of fearies and fauns.


	2. Chapter 2

It’s been about a week since I got out of the hospital and the tests and scans showed that I’m healthy as a college student should be. Which is why the things that have been happening around me have been driving me insane!

“Dude, chill. Whatever you just saw didn’t happen, k? You need to stop being so paranoid.” Michael complained after I jumped at a shadow moving for the third time today. He’d been catching me up on what I missed in the classes we shared when I first saw my shadow move when I didn’t. Now we’re having lunch and I swear to the gods that shadow on the wall of a potted plant just reached out towards me.

“Sorry. Just, you know, recovering from a traumatic experience,” I rolled my eyes at him, “no big deal.” I finished sarcastically.

“Still, it’s best to recognize that they’re not real and try and move on-”

“But what if they are real?!” I interrupted.

“They’re not.” The finality of his response and tone almost made me believe him, but after what I saw in the hallway mirror this morning...I don’t think I’ll ever be able to brush these things off.

“But what about whatever saved me, or what happened this morning!? I sent you the picture, it’s as real as anything else!” I was starting to sound hysterical, I know that, but I can’t help it, all of this is scaring me so much. This morning there was writing on the mirror in the hallway, written in a black, charcoal like substance that smelled like metal and dust. “You’re Welcome, Little One” was scrawled across the surface in a jagged script. Someone broke into my apartment, didn’t break the lock or any of the windows, didn’t take or even move anything, just to write that message on my mirror. It looked like it might’ve been done by the thing that saved me, but I don’t know.

“Yes, I agree that it was definitely weird, and definitely something the police should look into, but that doesn’t mean every shadow on the planet is out to get you.”

“I already called the police, they came this morning and said there were no signs of forced entry or fingerprints on the mirror or door handle. They even looked at the security footage of the hallway outside my apartment and saw nothing…except the lights going out in front of my door the second I closed my door-” My voice had been getting louder and louder the longer I spoke, eventually I was almost shouting with a hysterical waver to my words until Michael interrupted me.

“It was a coincidence!” He shouted over me, his hands had apparently found their way to my arms while I was talking, I hadn’t even noticed, “You need to calm down, okay? You’re starting to worry me.” His voice was quieter now, more focused on calming me down I think than actually getting a message across.

“sorry…” I sat back in my chair and brought my knees to my chest. I’m not having the best day today it would seem, and usually Michael is the one to be overly emotional. His eyes were darker than mine and they always held so much in them, I can rarely handle looking him in the eyes without becoming overwhelmed with what I see. So since I can’t do that I just reach out towards him after a moment and he sighs, I hope in relief, before taking my hand in his and rubbing his thumb over my knuckles while we sit in the corner of campus, away from everyone else, his darker brown skin warmed by the sun while mine are somehow still cold. I lean onto his shoulder and look at our hands, trying my best to ignore the shadows around us and do as he says.

* * *

After today I feel a lot better, Michael and I talked for a while longer before I had to go to my classes which, in turn, helped distract me from my paranoia. There’s a cop car in front of my building to make sure no one tries to break in, I didn’t request it but I’m glad it’s here, that combined with the day I’ve had has helped to make me feel a bit safer. However, with safety comes a kind of peace of mind that lets me analyse my own psyche, which means now I’m considering seeing a therapist for the obvious trauma I have even though I probably can’t afford it, but I’ll think more about that later. For now I think I’ll make myself some dinner and engage in America’s favorite pastime: masturbating.

I made a light meal of salad and orange juice for dinner, not wanting anything to sit to heavy, before heading towards my room, almost skipping down the hall. When I walked in that same sense of being watched settled in almost immediately, but I just tried to shake it off and continue with my plans. I walked over to the bed and knelt to search for the box that I kept under it, now feeling the imaginary eyes bore holes into my ass. My exhibitionist side reacted to the feeling as I started to grow hard, but my rational side was still trying to convince me that there wasn’t anyone actually watching me.

The lights flickered when I finally pulled the box out or, rather, the whole room seemed to dim for a moment before returning to normal. I chalked it up to the faulty wiring of the old building I lived in. I set the box on the bed and opened the drawer of my bedside table, pulling out a good sized bottle of lube and my camera. I set everything down on the bed and walked into the bathroom to prep for a bit.

When I returned, now feeling a bit cleaner and open, I set up my camera on the tripod and linked it to my laptop. Before I even opened my laptop the same thoughts that go through my head every time I do this flooded into my mind: this is stupid, no one’s gonna watch it, what do you expect to get out of this?, Christ you’re desperate, this is dangerous, someone could find out, Michael could find out, etcetera, etcetera. I ignored them and kept going, opening the recording software on my laptop and the browser after the program booted up. I went to the streaming website I always us and logged in, automatically sending out a notification to the people that follow me. They’d start showing up in a minute or two and would start talking in the chat to see if anyone knew when I was starting.

Like clockwork as I was just opening the bottle of lube, the satisfying snap echoing through my quiet room, the first message popped up.

“Hey, pup! When are you starting tonight?” I rolled my eyes, but still responded with my tried and true script.

“10-15 minutes tops. Just need to get warmed up, don’t want to bore y’all with the prepwork ^3^.” I smiled, knowing that he would take care of those that flooded in. Before I looked away to get down to it I saw a couple messages of “But it wouldn’t be boring!!” I ignored them and started to set everything up. I cleared the space behind my bed that the camera would be able to see, swapped my normal duvet out for a thinner blanket to avoid annoying bumps that could obstruct the view, opened the box and pulled out my favorite dragon dildo, and grabbed the open bottle of lube. I poured a bit onto the index and middle finger of my right hand and laid back on the bed, reaching between my legs and spreading some of the lube on my entrance.

I pushed my fingers in, and tried to relax. I thrust my two fingers in and out, moaning lightly as I loosened myself till I could add a third finger. Five minutes passed like that, just me reveling in the feeling even though I was probably already loose enough to fit the toy in without to much trouble. I was still hard from earlier and I was only getting harder with every minute, but I know I have to stop and start the stream before I get too carried away so I pulled my fingers out and used my dry hand to hit record.

30 seconds later and the stream was live and my dildo was sufficiently lubed up. I waved to the camera and smiled. It said there were around 70 people watching at the moment, but more people always showed up after the stream goes live so I wasn’t expecting the number to stay stagnant.

“Hey, y’all! I had a rough day so I thought I’d relieve some of my stress while showing off ;)” I typed into the chat. I didn’t have a proper microphone and I don’t think I would use it even if I did, I doubt anyone would actually want to hear my moans.

“Hello, little one.” A user said, the gold circle by his name telling me that he was a VIP subscriber and the highlighted text showing that he was dm-ing me. I had a couple of VIP subscribers, basically all it means is that they pay a fee set by me so they can direct message me, get access to private streams, and take part in polls that I occasionally put up if I can’t decide what to do on a stream. This particular user was new. The notification that told me he had subscribed was still sitting in my inbox, it said he’d subscribed less than an hour ago.

“Hey, glad to know you think I’m worth the subscription!” I typed back quickly, not wanting to keep the other viewers waiting. I grabbed the dildo from off screen and made a big show of stroking it to spread the lube over it’s silicone surface, trying to give the VIP member a chance to respond if he wanted to. The normal chat was blowing up with encouragement and certain choice phrases that I chose to ignore.

“So glad you’re alright. What are you up to tonight?” The message confused me. It’s not like I’d disappeared for an unreasonably long time, hell, I’m usually away for much longer, so there wasn’t exactly a reason for him to say that. I tried to brush it off as a bad choice of words before answering.

“Just gonna show off for y’all, then shower and go to bed” I typed back, “It’s been a bit of a day lol” I can tell the other viewers are getting impatient, and I can’t say I blame them.

“Wanna talk about it?” I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at his nonchalance.

“Not right now, maybe after I’ve thoroughly fucked myself though.” And with that I finally got to what I’d been waiting for.

I laid back once more and spread my legs, making sure the camera can see everything, and brought the tip of the toy to my entrance. The chat quieted as I drew their focus, teasing just the tip in and out of my tight ring of muscle. I reached my free hand between my legs and slowly started to jerk off, not in any kind of rush, just wanting to keep the pleasure build up going. I pushed the toy in a little further, about an inch deep to get past the first ridge, and pulled it back out. The sting wasn’t strong, it just added to the pleasure, so I pushed it back in till I reached about halfway down the dildo. I couldn’t help but to moan as each ridge was pushed into me, the texture just feels way too good to stay quiet even if I wanted to.

I vaguely registered the chat blowing up again, I decided to keep going and ignore it for now. I kept pushing till all six inches were buried inside me, the flared base keeping it firmly in place. It feels amazing, but it’s not enough. I pull it out till just the tip is left in before pushing it back it, as I start to jerk off faster.

I pull it out again and push in hard, yelling out a moan as I find my prostate. I start pistoning the dildo in and out of my hole, angling it to hit that sweet spot as often as possible. I can’t read what’s happening in the chat, but the words are scrolling by quickly. They must be enjoying themselves.

I smile at the thought that all those people are getting off to me, being an exhibitionist is one hell of a drug because after only a couple minutes I was starting to feel the familiar warmth and tension start to build up in the pit of my stomach. I rolled onto my stomach and got onto my knees, laying my head down on the bed before continuing. I kept pistoning the toy in and out of myself, now chasing my orgasm, as I pumped my hand up and down on my weeping cock.

For a moment I swear I felt a hand caress my ass and the toy seemed to push in harder than I intended, but I was too far gone to care. I just kept fucking myself as hard and as fast as I could, moans and nonsense falling from me in pleasure as I got closer and closer. Suddenly I felt the warmth in the pit of my stomach start to spread as my pleasure was coming to a crescendo, my movements became jerky as I thrust the toy into myself a last couple of times before spilling onto my bed and hand. I fucked myself through my orgasm till I started to feel over sensitive and finally removed the dildo from myself.

I rolled onto my back for a moment, attempting to catch my breath, before sitting up and smiling at the camera again. I blew a kiss to the camera and turned it off, ending the stream as the chat slowed once more. Usually there’s a couple minutes afterward where people are still chatting and asking me to do one thing or another and I use that time to scroll back through the chat and see if anyone had anything interesting to say. Normally people would say things like: “You are so good at this.”, “Keep going! Lets see how much you can take!”, and “Damn this is so hot.” Or things to that effect, but this time there was an overwhelming amount of people telling me “Look behind you!!” and asking what happened to the background. They were asking why the wall had suddenly turned black and near the end of the chat they were saying “What is that thing behind him?!”.

I spun around and nearly screamed as I caught a half second glimpse of a hulking being standing behind me, but as soon as soon as it showed up it was gone; too quickly to get a good look at it. I ran into the bathroom and locked the door behind me, feeling the eyes fall off of me again. I hid in the shower and hugged my knees to my chest, resigning myself to a sleepless night hiding in the bathroom. Yet even as I shook and shivered in terror, a thought persisted in my mind: that’s what was touching me, that’s what was watching me….and I want to see it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I plan to update this fic once a week or so, at least until I run out of pre-written chapters from tumblr, but I'll try to keep it up even after that.


	3. Chapter 3

“You look dead.” Michael said when I walked into my first class of the morning. I grunted in response and sat down next to him, laying my head in my arms on the table. I didn’t get a wink of sleep last night because I thought every sound was that thing coming back to get me. Michael absentmindedly ran his fingers through my hair and down my back, making the tension that I was still holding melt away like it always did.

“I didn’t get much sleep last night...had a bit of a nightmare.” I lied, I doubt he would believe me if I told him the truth even if I knew what the truth actually was in this context. His hand returned to my hair and continued to pet me until the professor walked in. I sat back up and fixed my hair, it’s probably getting too long to be called an undercut but I’m too lazy to get it touched up, so presently I have to push it aside and back out of my eyes.

“That reminds me actually!” Michael said as he watched me, “When are you gonna get your hair dyed? Your always talking about it, but you never actually do it.” I scribbled down the notes as our professor wrote them, jotting down some dates and a few quotes here and there.

“Maybe I like it black now.” I laughed and put my pencil down, looking at Michael with a raised eyebrow, “Plus you’re blonde, you don’t know how hard it is to dye dark hair like mine.” Michael scoffed at me.

“I worked at a hair salon, dude. Trust me I know how hard it is.” I roll my eyes and keep working even as my eyes try to close every two seconds. This is gonna be a long day.

* * *

As a self proclaimed bottom and more feminine gay guy, I can say with certainty that I’ve never willingly stepped foot into a Home Depot. Unfortunately that meant that I ended up spending way too long in there trying to find what I am now carrying under my arm as I enter my apartment. At this point I’m ready to do whatever it takes to get some solid proof of that creature’s existence, and that includes buying a pair of cordless security cameras.

I told Michael they were just a precaution in case my stalker came back and left another message or something, and technically that wasn’t a lie. These are going to help me catch whatever left the first message, only thing is that I don’t think the creature ever actually left. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s watching me right now, I can feel the eyes burning into me again. Hell, the second I walk through the door it’s like I’m surrounded by hundreds of eyes watching me from the shadows.

“Whatever you are, I- I’m gonna catch you on camera! Then you won’t be able to hide from anyone!” I yell into the apartment. I probably sound hysterical to my neighbors, but at this point I don’t really care as long as I get revenge on the bastard.

“If you just leave me alone I won’t have to do this! I know you wanna stay hidden, just leave and you can stay that way!” I keep yelling, beginning the process of assembling and installing the cameras. Unfortunately I also had to buy an SD card for each of the cameras as well so I’m probably gonna have to live off of cup ramen for a bit, but It’ll all be worth it once I show Michael my proof and…and… I don’t really know what I’m gonna do once I know what the creature actually is, I’m not exactly a monster hunter or anything. I’m not even that good of a fighter in general so what am I gonna do if this thing comes after me? I’ve basically been operating under the assumption that once I expose it it’ll want to leave or something, but what if it just tries to kill me? It was able to disarm the guy that attacked me in a matter of seconds while not being seen. I’m no match for it….

“...You’re wrong…” A whisper echoed through my apartment, almost too quiet for me to hear. I glanced around, peering into the dark corners of my apartment to try and find the source as I felt myself start to panic.

“What? I-I didn’t catch that.” I said, trying to keep calm. It hasn’t hurt me so far, so why would it start now?

“You’re wrong…” It sounded like a growl this time, like it was trying to keep quiet when it just wanted to yell.

“About what?” I had, at some point, apparently backed myself up against the wall and my voice was coming out quieter and quieter. An image flashed in my mind of the alley and the man in front of me, my breath quickened and I started to shake. It feels like I can’t breath. My vision is blurry and I can feel tears running down my cheek- when did I start crying?

“I’m not here to hurt you...and I don’t care about staying hidden…” The growl stopped echoing, it sounded like it was right in front of me. I flinch back when it speaks and I squeeze my eyes shut, I just want this to be over!

“The-then, why’re you doing this!” I say between gasps for breath, giving up on yelling all together, there’s no way I could be any louder when it felt like something was crushing my chest.

“Because you owe me...and all I’ve asked is to stay here and observe you.” Hot breath ghosts over me like it’s putting its face right in front of mine. I try to force myself backwards even more, pressing my back and head flush to the wall.

“And if you don’t pay your debt to me this way, I’m sure I can think of something more...entertaining. Though, I doubt you’d like it as much…” It's too much, my knees buckle and I fall to the floor weeping loudly but still refusing to open my eyes. I hug my legs to my chest and try to convince myself that it’s all a bad dream, but then I feel something like a hand brushing through my hair slowly. It’s hesitant, and I tense up the moment I feel it, but no matter how hard I try I can’t help but to lean into it as if it was Michael's.

“Are….are you alright?...” The voice was softer now. It sounded almost normal, but still like a strong, cold wind. I shook my head in response, “I’m...sorry. I did not realize I was having this effect on you….I will leave you be…”

“No!” My eyes snap open and I reach out in front of me to try and stop it from leaving. My mind races to try and find words to convince it to stay here, but it comes up blank and I’m left sitting on the floor staring up at a wavering shadow as my hand passes through it.

“...Why?...I have caused you so much distress….why do you want me to stay?” Its voice is echoing again, bouncing off of every surface and somehow changing pitch and volume. I don't know why I said it, why would I want it to stay? It was on its way out and I could have finally had some peace, but if it did I feel like it would somehow be worse. As much as I hate to admit it, being watched by the thing that saved me made me feel almost safe.

“If...if you leave who’s to say I didn’t just make you up as some kind of coping mechanism? If you leave who’s to say I haven’t finally gone insane?!” A sob tore its way out of me, fresh tears springing from my eyes. It was all too much, I just wanted some peace! Why must everything be so complicated?

“I believe you need some time….I will be back, but I’m not helping by being here… and there’s no use in me observing you while you're like this...” And just like that the feeling of eyes watching me disappeared, my apartment brightened, and the message on the mirror faded to a dull grey smudge. I was left sitting on the floor of my hallway with my hand outstretched, grasping at nothing as tears fall down my cheeks.

Defeated, I drop my arm and hug myself. I feel so helpless, I can’t even make the thing that’s been stalking me stay. I… I don’t even know if it was real, maybe I have gone crazy and I just hallucinated all of it. I’m already starting to doubt myself, I knew that would happen, but are my doubts baseless? I’ve been traumatized and scared out of my mind for weeks now for no good reason, I needed something to blame it on so who's to say I didn’t make all this up to try and convince myself that I’m alright.

“Well that was fast…” I mumble to myself, not even surprised at how quickly my doubts surfaced. I know I can’t just sit on the floor all day, but whether or not what I just saw was real it drained me so much that I don’t even feel like I can move. I do anyway, lifting myself onto my feet and looking around me at the apartment that no longer feels safe even though there aren’t any eyes on me anymore.

I feel like I’m floating to my room, I can see my legs moving but they don’t feel like mine. I see my arm move so I can grab the blanket and move it out of the way before I lie down, but it’s like I’m watching someone else do it. It’s like I’m not in my own body, I’m floating above it and watching it run on autopilot as it gets into my bed and closes its eyes. I fall asleep like that, not really feeling anything or thinking about anything, just laying there and running through the events that just transpired to see if I could’ve done something differently.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the kinda late update, totally thought I'd already uploaded this chapter tbh lol

I can hear Michael unlock the door from where I’m laying in my room. I don’t know how long I’ve really been in here, but I think it’s probably been at least the whole weekend, maybe longer. I listen to his footsteps after he opens the door and starts looking for me. I don’t move. I don’t want to move. I don’t want to talk to him. 

"Othos? Where- oh. There you are." I feel the bed dip as he sits down next to me, I just pull the covers over my head and try to go back to sleep, but he pulls them off of me and cups my face with his hands as he leans over me so I have to look at him.

"What do you want?" I grumble as I glare at him. The roughness of my voice surprises me, it sounds gravely and unfamiliar but I guess that's what I get for not talking for however many days it's been.

"What happened? I haven't seen you since Friday and you haven't answered your phone. I was worried that maybe that stalker had gotten to you or something." I pull away from him and lay my head back on the pillows, the worry on his face made me feel so terrible that I couldn't bare to look him in the eye anymore.

"It's nothing. I've just been under the weather, you don't have to worry."

"Bullshit. Some cold wouldn't be able to keep you off your phone." He gets up off the bed and circles around it until hes standing in my line of sight. I watch passively as he crouches down so we're face to face again. "I saw the cameras on the way in. Why didn't you set them up? Seriously, Othos, what happened?" I can feel tears trying to fall from my eyes, but I do my best to hold them back as I talk.

"I...I don't know. I think I had some kind of psychotic break when I got mugged. I was convinced that there was this- this thing that was living here and watching me even though I couldn't really see it! I felt it watching me and sometimes it was almost like it actually touched me, but I don't know if any of it was real. When I was setting up the cameras it showed itself finally, but I couldn't bring myself to look at it- it was saying that it wanted to observe me or something and that I had offended it," I scoff at the idea as if it doing what it had been doing was any less offensive, "by wanting it to leave. I-I broke down, I was so stressed and scared that I couldn't help it; I just started crying and I felt so helpless." I'm crying now as well, but I have to say this. I have to tell someone about it or else I might never leave this damned bed. "It-it asked if I was okay as if it actually cared!" I laugh briefly and it comes out as a hysterical burst. "It was so stupid because throughout all of it I realized I didn't want it to leave! Can you believe that?! I was tormented by this thing, whether it realized it or not, and yet I wanted it to stay! Why? Because it made me feel safe?" I laugh again, but it's angry this time. I'm so angry all of a sudden, I just want to scream and punch something but all I can do is keep ranting to Michael. "It made me feel like I wasn't alone, like I was being protected or some shit. Then he said he was gonna give me some time or whatever and he just left! The nerve on him I swear." I sniffle and wipe my tears away even though I know more will just replace them. I finally let my eyes focus on Michael and see that he's even more worried than before, and it hurts so much because I never want to make him worry like this, but I haven't felt anything since the creature left so the anger and the hurt and everything feels like I'm finally waking up from a bad dream. "The worst thing is that I don't even know if any of it was real or not."

"Well, do you want it to have been real or do you think it would be better off as just a hallucination?" Michael asks after a few silent moments. I can tell he's trying not to freak out and start fussing over me, but the tension and worry in his expression betrays him as his emotions usually do.

"...I want it to have been real. If it was all just in my head then I really don't know how I survived that mugging and I really don't know how I would ever feel safe again..." Of course I knew I was traumatized by the mugging, but it's only now that I am realizing how badly traumatized I truly was. Psychosis doesn't run in my family from what I know so I doubt I actually had a psychotic break, but right now PTSD is a legitimate possibility.

* * *

Michael and I spent the rest of the day together. After my rant had managed to get me back on to this plane of existence, I was able to get out of bed with Michael's help and since then he's been taking care of me. Even though we're no longer together he always says that we act more like a married couple than friends, and while he was cooking for me and making sure I was alright before he left I couldn't agree more.

After he left I spent the rest of the day and some of the night catching up on the homework for class and emailing my professor to apologize for my absence, I still wasn't feeling totally stable but with some food in my system and all of my emotions out in the open I definitely feel better. However, I still don't feel like I could handle going to class so I made sure to tell my professor that I will be taking a day or two more to deal with my mental health. I know my grade is going to suffer a bit for doing it, but honestly that's the furthest thing from my mind at the moment.

Currently it is 11 pm and I'm watching YouTube to distract myself from the empty feeling that is seeming to cling to this apartment now that the creature is gone. Michael suggested that I treat the events as totally true for now until I'm stable enough to confront them, perhaps with the help of a therapist, but that's neither here nor there for now. So far it's helped, I don't feel like my reality is collapsing around me anymore and I think that it'll help in the long run even if the creature turns out to just be a figment of my imagination.

The person I'm watching signs off and the screen goes to auto-play, but I decide that it's probably a good idea to go to bed now. So I turn off my phone and set it on the bedside table before rolling over and pulling the blanket snug around me. Without the creature's presence it's a little hard to get to sleep, purely because I had grown so used to it in the short amount of time it had been here, but I do eventually manage to fall asleep after a while of tossing and turning.

I don't dream too often or, at least, I don't remember my dreams very often, but tonight I have one of the rare, vivid dreams that usually only happen when I am super stressed. It starts off with me standing in front of my classroom door in my pajamas, the door is ajar but I'm hesitant to open it for some reason. When I reach out for it my hand is trembling, and as I push it open I can feel the fear mounting in my chest. Heart pounding, I push and the door swings open to reveal a totally empty and dark classroom. I take a few steps into the room and the door closes behind me, when I spin around to see who or what had closed it I see Michael leaning against the wall next to the door.

"Hey babe, how's it going?" His voice is overlayed with another, deeper one that makes him sound possessed or something.

"What are you doing here?" I ask instead of answering, something wasn't right here but so far the fear is starting to fade so I'm not terribly worried yet.

"Aw don't wanna talk about your day? That's fine." He smiles his warm smile that always brightens up the room and makes the girls in our classes swoon before continuing to speak. "I just wanted to see how things went and make sure you don't get too stressed. Just pretend like I'm not even here, I'll step in if need be." 

"What are you-" I cut myself off as the room gets even darker, I glance around and I see why: there's a shadowy figure or, rather, a moving shadow in front of the doorway. It's huge and I recognize it as the creature I has seen for a second or two as I was sitting on the floor crying and begging for it not to leave. It's form is shifting and ambiguous, but it has the general structure of a body that allows me to see it as something other than a trick of the light. He doesn't say anything as he moves forward, slowly making his way towards me until he's only a foot or two away before stopping and looming over me. He's probably seven feet tall like this and it's only now that I realize he has eyes or something that looks like eyes at least. There are two almond shaped specks of light where one would assume a person's eyes would be if they looked like this.

I'm entranced by him, now that he's no longer a mystery or actively threatening me he's actually quite interesting. I can't help but to watch intently as he reaches one of his long ghostly arms out towards me. As it gets closer I can see more and more detail or maybe it's just becoming more detailed, actually solidifying as he moves closer, either way I can tell that it's a physical thing now and not just a wisp of smoke as it was in the hallway. It's only a few inches away now and I can see his fingers are tipped by dangerous looking claws, but I know he's not trying to hurt me. Only an inch away now and I can see the swirling black and grey pattern of his skin. A few centimeters and I can feel the cold radiating off of him. The lightest brush of his fingertips against my cheeks and finally he begins to speak,

"Little one, I never meant to harm you..." He takes his hand away so quickly its as if he was burned, in the same instant I wake up with a start, gasping as if he'd stolen my breath.

I glance around the room while I catch my breath, desperately looking for the creature and hoping that maybe, just maybe, his presence had been the one that had caused the dream. To my dismay, I didn't see any sign of him and I didn't feel any eyes on me. Whether he was real or not I know that he'll be haunting me for a long, long time.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry I haven't updated this in a while, a lot has happened in my life (I won't bore you with the details) but from now on I am gonna do my best to update this a bit more regularly. Thank you all so much for your supportive comments they really made me want to continue this as soon as I could!

It's been a few weeks since Michael helped me get out of my slump. I did end up taking those two days off to get myself in order, but since then I have been going to class and doing my best to catch up on what I missed. I was lucky because my professor was very understanding about everything that I was going through and gave me an extension on a few assignments, so all in all things are looking up.

Unfortunately, I've been having dreams almost every night that always surround the creature, it's never usually the same scenario or setting, but he's always there to some capacity. Some of them are more like nightmares and others are flowery little dreams, but the way he acts is always the same: he starts far away and slowly approaches throughout the dream until he's standing right in front of me or next to me, he never talks or anything, and the dream always ends when he tries to touch me. During a few of the nightmares I was back in the alleyway with an impossible number of people around me carrying weapons of all kinds. He shows up as they're all moving towards me, he moves faster than in any of the other dreams and he gets there just as they're all raising their weapons, he reaches out towards me to pull me away or something but the second he tries to grab my wrist I wake up.

"Hey, you good?" Michael says as he waves his hand in front of my face, apparently I spaced out while we were out for lunch. I chuckle and drop my gaze out of embarrassment as I respond. 

"Yeah sorry, I was just thinking about some dreams I've been having." I take a bite of the burger I haven't touched until now, it's getting a little cold but it's still pretty good.

"Ah, has he made another appearance yet?" Michael has been trying to treat the creature as real in order to help me process everything and keep my mental health stable even though at this point I've told him plenty of times that he doesn't need to. I've actually started to take baby steps towards thinking or realizing that he wasn't real to begin with, so really I don't need Michael to be forcing himself to act like this.

"No, and like I said yesterday, I don't think he ever will. Which, again as I've said, I am coming to terms with." I take another bite before setting the burger down and picking up my drink as I lean back in my chair. "Are you expecting him to?" I tease.

"Not necessarily, but I want to be in the know if he does." He responds, ignoring my teasing and his food, he's mostly done with it anyway but still. 

"You'll be the first to know, I promise." 

* * *

A month and a half since I last saw the creature. I have been doing my best to keep thoughts of hallucinations and delusions out of my head because I know it won't help anything... but my best can only do so much.

I started talking to a psychiatrist online because, even though I'm doing a lot better, I don't feel like I have the energy to handle talking to a stranger face to face about any of what has happened. She says that from what I told her she thinks I simply experienced post traumatic hallucinations, aka my brain made something up to make things make sense and give me a brief feeling of security that was eventually turned into something worse as I began to process and try to cope with said trauma. I don't know if she'll stick with that narrative once I get more comfortable and tell her more of what happened, but who knows. So far I've only really told her about the dreams and feeling like I was being watched which oddly seemed to help; it's been at least a week since I had a dream with him in it so I count that as progress.

"Hey, you spaced out again." Michael says as he taps me on the shoulder, staying up so late last night might not have been the best idea since I keep doing that today.

Michael has taken to staying over more often to make sure I'm doing alright, which is sweet of him, but it's really not necessary in my opinion. He says he just wants to hangout more and give me a solid presence in my life in case something happens, but I've caught him looking around in the darker parts of my apartment once or twice so I don't think he's being totally honest with me.

"Sorry, just tired I guess." I say in response as I focus back on the show we're watching. "You staying over tonight? 'Cause if you're not you should probably get going soon." It's getting late and I know Michael has work to do, but I can still see that he's hesitant to leave.

"You think you'll be alright?" His brow is furrowed (which I'm convinced will cause a permanent crease one of these days) as his eyes scan over my face to try and find any hint of distress, I just roll my eyes at him and turn the TV off.

"I'll be fine, I promise! Go. Write your paper or whatever, I'll probably just shower and head to bed." 

"Alright alright," he chuckles as he get up off the couch and starts gathering his things, "text me if you need anything okay?"

"Okay, I will. Try to actually focus on your work though, I don't want you blaming me when you fail this class." I tease as I get up and walk him to the door. He hugs me tightly and I hug him back before he leaves, saying one last goodbye before the door closes and I lock it behind him.

I start walking through the apartment, turning off all the lights we had on until only the hallway light is left as I walk towards my room. I feel like I'm being watched again, but at this point I don't think anything of it, it's just another thing that occasionally happens nowadays. I just glance around to sate my paranoia as I walk into my bedroom and turn off the hall light.

I strip down and toss my clothes in the vague direction of the hamper before walking into the bathroom to shower. The one real consistency besides Michael has been the fact that when I step into the bathroom the feeling of being watched stops if it hasn't already by the time I get to my room. This time though it persisted for a bit, less than a minute but still enough to notice. I try not to let it get to me as I turn on the water, but the sensation still makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I keep glancing around, but I don't see anything, not a single shadow out of place.

Then it stops like it always does, but I can still feel my heart beating faster in fear and maybe... a little excitement. I try my best to brush it off as just another symptom or freak experience, but the entire time I'm showering thoughts are racing through my head about the possibility of him being back.

* * *

My heart rate has dropped by the time I step into my room again, still naked but now freshly washed and towel dried. The thoughts about him being back have died down a bit too, but they're not completely gone. In all honesty the idea of him being back and watching me again doesn't worry me, it's actually kind of comforting, but the thought that something else is watching me is what's putting me on edge. The idea that I'm brushing off the feeling of a stalker or robber watching me because I think it's the creature just won't let me calm down. It doesn't help that the feeling came back the second I stepped back into my room.

I quickly get dressed, glancing behind my back constantly until I manage to convince myself to get in bed, which only happens after I've checked that every door and window in my apartment is firmly locked.

Even as my eyes start to get heavy I can't quite bring myself to turn off the lights in my room, so I just decide to keep them on for the rest of the night, electricity bill be damned. I keep hoping I'll be able to get to sleep once the feeling of being watched finally goes away, but as the minutes pass it doesn't leave and no matter how heavy my eyes get I can't manage to fall asleep.

* * *

"Even after all this time my gaze still causes you so much distress... I'm sorry for what I've done to you... I wish I could undo all of it..." A familiar echoing voice says as I feel the bed dip slightly by my legs. My eyes snap open and I immediately bolt up, finding a loosely human figure made of cascading shadows sitting next to me.

It didn't flinch when I sat up, the only movement from it was some of the smoke-like shadows being blown around. Its stillness is an odd contrast to me, where my eyes are searching and flicking to different parts of it to try and find some evidence that it's not real, his face (or where I presume its face would be) is turned away towards my window unmoving.

"Why?" I ask once I register what it had said to me in the first place, the quickened beating of my heart and my racing thoughts preventing me from coming up with a more eloquent statement for a moment. "W-Why would you undo it all? You saved me in that alley- you made me feel safe in an odd sort of way-"

"And yet you'd be better off if I had never stepped in!" He yells as his head whips in my direction and he surges forward, his cold shadows cascading over me but revealing no other sense of a physical form. I can't help but to flinch and tear up a little, my unfortunate reaction to being yelled at that my father instilled in me throughout my childhood.

"I- I don't think I would be..." I say a bit hesitantly once I recover from his outburst. "I'd probably be too afraid to leave my house if it wasn't for you. I'd be too scared that I would get jumped again with no one to protect me." He moves back a bit and seems to slump slight, I couldn't tell you what he was feeling if I tried, but at this point I just want to convince him to stay. "Listen, I've had more than enough time to think this over. You gave me a much needed distraction and, in one way or another, helped me to get back on my feet. I wasn't afraid tonight because I thought you were back, I wad afraid because I thought you weren't and someone else was watching. As long as I know it's you, I know that I'm safe."

There's a heavy pause, the silence seeming to press down on me until he breaks it. "...I'll ask you simply then... Do you want me here?" As the words echo around the room I feel his weight make the bed dip more as the shadows slowly start to stop falling. I feel my legs being pushed apart as his form becomes more solid between them, and I'd be lying if I said the feeling didn't turn me on a little.

At this point he's no longer a vaguely human shaped shadow, he's a silhouette of a tall and somewhat broad person with long hair falling over his shoulders, I can even see the difference from his hair and his body to a degree even though they kind of blur together when it reaches his shoulders. His form is firm now but still cold as ever, I can feel the muscle moving under his skin as well as a slow pulse, too slow for a human but that doesn't surprise me at this point.

"Yes." I say finally, and he immediately seems to sigh in relief even though I'm pretty sure he doesn't breathe at all. "But I have some rules."

**Author's Note:**

> HEY!!! Any comments (even silly little ones just saying that you liked it, or a keyboard smash) are much appreciated, and any criticisms you might have would be cool too!


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